oh, the drudgery.

i am now stuck in pontian, johor and i am LITERALLY dying of boredom.

If boredom doesn't eventually consume me, im sure the heat would. It’s so hot here, and there’s no AC. Feels like hell. With lots of flies. there are flies everywhere. O_O

My grandma’s house is also lacking a proper toilet. Which sucks. The toilet’s outside. Literally. So annoyingly gross. And there’s no malls, cinemas, or any fast food chains. There’s only one mirror in this whole fucking house. And it’s so extremely tiny, it cant even fit my whole face. And there’s no astro, only horrifyingly boring local channels which is always blurred due to bad reception.

On a brighter note though, there’s internet connection :)

But its so fucking slow, its pointless :/

Lastly, there’s no forks!! Can you believe it?? How can u not have forks in the house???!!! IT’S INSANEEEEE! How the heck am i gonna eat my precious maggi mee??? Fucklaaa. Somebody fucking get me outta here. And quick. Before i completely lose it!!! >.>

okay. here you go guys. sorry it took so long. xD

sucks.

it sucks that im so bloody weak. so bloody emotional. so bloody sensitive. so easily effective by things. it sucks that when i start tearing up, i cant stop. i go the whole way. the whole fucking painfully torturous way. and when the tears start to fall and my vision starts to blur, it sucks that it still keeps on going, the tears keep on falling. the lump in my throat keeps getting bigger. choking me. making me sob even harder. making my whole body convulse even harder. sobbing loudly in the corner, it sucks that im always angry at myself for not being able to stop; to be able to take a deep breath, calm down and just stop fucking bawling like a crazed idiot. and it sucks even more that when my body is already wracked with self pity and guilt and that my eyes are already red, swollen and disgusting looking, i have to get up and go looking for a fucking tissue box to wipe my nose which is currently the size of my fist and running like a motherfucker.


so yeahh..it basically sucks.
big time.

so it IS not JUST paranoia....

i am, in fact, cursed with bad luck.
the world is, in fact, out to get me.
the odds are, in fact, always against me.
and misery does, in fact, always find company.
company in the form of my pathetic self.
life is just so unfair.
O_O



----------------------------------------------------------------------




and no matter what you say ayah,
I AM DEFINITELY FUCKING OLD ENOUGH TO STAY ON MY OWN. SO FUCKING LET GO ALREADY AND STOP BEING SO BLOODY PROTECTIVE. YOU'RE FUCKING CHOKING ME. I'M LITERALLY SUFFOCATING!!



let me breathe for crying out loud!

let me breath...

oh myyy...

'INFERIOR'

thats how i felt during the debate training today. the seniors were amazingggggg!!! they were so good at presenting their case studies. and yet hafiedz still managed to bring down, insult and comment critically on each and every one of their cases . i was in awe. i felt so incompetent. so insignificant.so stupid. so small. i didn't even understand half the things that they were babbling about during their speeches but i was taken aback by each and everyone of 'em. and i was terrified when people started rebutting and asking questions and taking down each cases as i thought every case was flawless. i am soooooooo inexperienced. the only thing that kept me going; that kept me rooted to the spot and not run away in fear and anxiety is the idea that if i could become half of what the seniors are today, i would already be overly satisfied with myself. and with that in mind, im going to definitely NOT skip debate training tomorrow no matter how scary or nerve wrecking it may be. x) as obama has said,

"yes, we can!" :)

and with that, i shall leave you with a disturbing picture. xD

sucks like fuck..

the vc cup for debate is apparently on the 20th and i wont be here on that day. ill be in kelantan to visit my grandma. i would have totally changed the date if i knew earlier. but its wayy too late to change it now. my mum already bought the plane tickets. and its from air asia so a change in tickets or dates is an absolute no-no. >.>;

so i just missed the selections and now im gonna miss the vc cup as well. sucks like hell. haihz... and the vc cup is apparently loads of funn :(:(:( oh well. i guess i have to work extra hard to be a better debater since im gonna miss this competition as well. and i dont even know how im gonna tell hafiedz about my absence this time. he was already superbly annoyed about the fact that i missed the selections. O_O oh well! im gonna tell him tomorrow at training. hopefully, i wont be slaughtered alive! @_@"""

on a lighter note though. i came across this stupid photo which i will now once again label as,

"when people have nothing better to do"
lol. x)

this is what happens..

when people have nothing better to do,




and this is what happens when ain is stuck at kebun and has nothing better to do as well,

O__________O



yesh. my face is now permanently like that. O_O

fuck laaaa...

i am now stuck at 'kebun'*, so i cant go for the debating selections on sunday. hafiedz is going to kill me. am so super scared to call him up and tell him i cant go. he'll totally interrogate me and shit. *shivers!*

although this is true...secretly, i am a teensy bit relieved that i am not going cause ill probably pee in my pants against those debating seniors. but it sucks that i would lose out on the experience of competing against awesome debaters.

on a lighter note though. i got to go to nora's house today before going to kebun. it was fun hanging out with her after so long. it was my first time playing guitar hero and i absolutely sucked! but it was fun anyways x) and then we watched this tv series about batman and catwoman's daughter whereby she fights crime and shit. (i didnt even know batman and catwoman hooked up. so weird...O_O) it was pretty interesting. lots of girl power involved. after that, we watched russell peters on her computer and i swear to god, he is definitely, to me, one of the funniest guys in the world. hilarious! had me laughing for the whole hour he was talking! :D

"I don't create stereotypes. I just see them."

-Russell Peters :)

all in all. it was a relatively good day i guess :)

<3, ain
xoxo



*for those of u who don't know, 'kebun' is this place in hulu langat where my whole family goes to during some weekends. its sorta like a summer home, minus the pools and butlers and all those other luxurious shit you see on tv. its just a house in an orchard in the middle of no where, i hate it here. O_O even the internet connection here is so bloody slow. i gave up on trying to access facebook ages ago.

its way tooooo late

to be writing a blog post. but since i promised myself to stick to this blog, i will now attempt to write a decent post while im half asleep. lol.

so yeahhhhhhhhhhh...today, i woke up pretty late again. in fact, i only bathed at around 1 something pm. lol. i didnt do much the whole day but a few interesting things happened today.

observeeee...

• interesting thing number 1:

my room is officially a mess

my siblings turned my room into what they like to call, a 'camp house'. they messed up all my pillows and blankets to make several, so called, "base camps" on the floor. it was absolute chaos and not to mention horribly messy. i didnt realize what they were doing until i woke up from their constant screaming and laughing. (yes. i am THAT deep of a sleeper) i swear to god, one day i'll tie those brats up and lock 'em in the cupboard or something.
but i wont of course! cause i love them to death! :)

• interesting thing number 2:

eyeshield 21 rocks!

i finished reading all of my eyeshield 21 comics today. yay!! now im just disappointed that i have to wait a while before the next chapter comes out :(:( oh well!! its totally worth it though! :D i tried watching gossip girl online but failed cause my internet connection is so fucked up today. O_O so ive just been looking thru some blog layouts on the net. am still wondering whether i should change this layout or not. hmmmmm...

(eyeshield 21 rocks! you guys should read it too!! :D)

• interesting thing number 3:

RM1000++ down the drain

my sister lost one of our internet broadband thingies at school. it apparently costs a bomb. she brought it to school yesterday and couldnt find it at the end of the day. my mum was absolutely furious. so was my dad. but its all good and settled now. so nothing much...just abit of drama rama for a while..lol xD

(can u believe that this little thing caused quite a havoc?)

• interesting thing number 4:

friends who rock my socks off!

karl shern called me today. and it was just so good to finally hear from him. and he was so nice and funny to talk to on the phone. i laughed my head off on a lot of occasions during the phone call. totally miss him weii. hopefully we get to meet up before he leaves to go back to singapore. speaking of old best friends, i also had a little chat with nora. hopefully, i get to go to her house tomorrow and watch some anime! cant wait!! :D lol. oh. and i talked to the debating guy from yesterday for a bit and i found out that he likes eyeshield 21 and one piece too!! amazing! so cool! havnt met anyone who actually even knew what eyeshield 21 was. lol. XD its quite refreshing actually :)

(one piece rocks my freaking socks offff!! xD)

ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I GUESS THAT 'S ALL FOR TODAY FOLKS.
SO UNTIL NEXT TIME, TOODLES~!! :D

okay. here goes!

My first ever proper blog post since..well...ever! lol. so anyways. lets get started shall we? :)

so the day started out fine. surprisingly, i woke up pretty late; well, for my standards at least. x) anyways, it was only at 11.30 did i woke up and i only bathed at around 1pm (on account that i spent an hour rolling around on my bed trying to get back to sleep). aint that gross? teehee!

ever since i came back from the hostel, ive been pretty much lazy-er then usual. i cant believe that this was even possible but apparently, it was. im spending my whole day, cooped up in the room reading dorky manga series and watching even dorky-er anime shows. (yesh. i am an anime fan, so sue me) i only leave my bed for food and to bathe. i literally look like a crazy animal on steroids. i am a serious mess right now. and i stopped looking in the mirror a while back. it just got too depressing and not to mention, horrifying! O_O

anyways!!!! other then the fact that i am now grossly disgusting looking, i just made a friend thru facebook. he's on the debating team in uitm, perlis, and he's actually really nice to talk to. really friendly too. but in a good way. not in the perverted type of 'friendly' way. lol. X)

well. other than that, nothing spectacular happened today. O.O

oh wait! another highlight of the day was when i went to pizzahut to eat with my family. havn't been there in like a year kut. its been THAT long apparently. still tasted yummy though. so lunch was good. well. so was dinner. had lamb and rice. yummmmmmmmm :9

lol.

oh well. i guess thats it for now. until next time,

bye ya'll! :D

i am literally DYING

of boredom.

its approximately 2am. and i cant sleep.

and to top it all off. im bored too.

what a perfect combination for insomnia.

gahh. am soooooo not in the holiday-ing mood right nowww...

grumble. grumble. grumble.

anyways! that is all.

tata~!

yes. i did it again...

i totally neglected this blog and have not updated it in the last six moths.

yes. i am THAT lazy, O_O

oh well! since i am now free of exams and studies, i shall now revert my attention back to blogging. hopefully this will work out and that this wont become yet another one of those abandoned blog thingies.

wish me luck! :D

toodles~!